What the @!*$ you REALLY should be doing during quarantine

by Matt Jarosinski and Ayden Schultz

During these trying times, others may tempt you with frivolous methods of passing time, but we (Matt and Ayden) are here to provide you with content that will enrich you and bestow you with invaluable knowledge. While you rot away in quarantine, immerse yourself in this marvelous media, so when the apocalypse inevitably comes, all the earth’s cretins will grovel at your feet.

Listen

Crazy Frog Presents More Crazy Hits

Crazy Frog - Presents More Crazy Hits (2006, CD) | Discogs

Haha crazy frog go brr brr wah woo. – Ayden

Aphex Twin, Come to Daddy EP

I like the funny little man and he likes me. – Matt

This Heat, Deceit

During these times of great strife, it’s important to keep your sense of hope and optimism, of course if you wanted to completely disregard that I would recommend listening to the apocalyptic post-punk classic Deceit by This Heat. A couple things about this record, one, every cool band that has ever existed has taken at least a little something from this record, and two, this album is actually terrifying, its legitimately one of the most uneasy albums I have ever heard, it sounds like if some sort of sleep paralysis demon made a post-punk album. I would describe this album as “fifth-world post-punk” if you catch my drift. – Matt

Big Black, Talk About “Fucking”

At one point in the 80’s it was not out of the ordinary for a band to release a 12’ disc containing an interview to go alongside a full length album release. Chicago’s legendary noise rock / post-hardcore / pigfuck pioneers, Big Black, did just this with Talk About “Fucking” (also known as the Incredibly Whorish Big Black Interview Album). Needless to say, when bands would do this usually their interview would not be as inflammatory and farcical as this thing. There’s a couple aspects you might notice about this interview, first, the thing opens with a very ostentatious yet poetic monologue. It then transitions to an interviewee I can only hope is putting on some sort of nearly unintelligible accent asking some pretty incendiary questions to the band and receiving equally as brazen answers. Lastly, consider that this interview is set to a loop of mariachi music that is continually played throughout its entire duration. – Matt 

Real Mouth ASMR

Real Mouth ASMR is a YouTube channel that makes really interesting and cool videos. Make sure to wear your headphones! – Ayden

The Records at the back of MY collection

I got some real good ones back here. You ever listen to Radiohead? They’re kind of obscure so don’t worry if you haven’t. I’m personally a big fan of In Rainbows, and that’s not just because Anthony Fantano said it’s his favorite. Otherwise I got Kendrick Lamar if you’re more into Hip-Hop, or maybe we could just Spiderland and chill? – Ayden

No, you want the records in the back of MY collection

You ever listen to train noises of decommissioned steam engines from the mid 20th century? Those babies used to carry lumber all over the state. Guess who owns not one, but two train noise records, I do. If that’s not cool enough for you, I got this grindcore record I bought at Madcity Music Exchange 3 years ago for three dollars that’s all on one side, sounds like it was recorded with a toaster, and doesn’t exist in any capacity on the internet despite apparently being from 2004 or so. To top that off the cover and back are just 12 inch color photocopies with a very crisp amount of jpeg. – Matt


Read

Исповѣдь

Я не очень разбираюсь в этой книге, за исключением главы, в которой Лео уходит и как будто фермеры знают, что случилось. эта религия не такая уж и плохая. Но, видите, Лео – своего рода ублюдок, который думает о религии только в пари Паскаля. Он как «ах, моя жизнь отстой, хотя я богат и знаменит. Хотел бы я быть фермером». Что за сука я тебе говорю. – Ayden

ABC: An Amazing Alphabet Book

With all the free time I now have, I’ve taken it upon myself to try and become better read. I figured I should start my literary journey with a classic: Dr. Seuss’s ABC: An Amazing Alphabet Book. This book was a pretty challenging read for me personally, with all the letters and what not, but after a few weeks I managed to finish it, and I can say with certainty that I am maybe literate now. I cannot recommend this book enough. If you’ve never read before, but have always wanted to try it, this is a great place to start. – Ayden

Posadist Literature

So, I was introduced to the concept of Posadism by the content creator Jreg, who often dabbles in satire especially pertaining to strange and fringe political ideologies. Nothing I could tell you about this ideology could give you an actual educated summary of it, all I have to say is that there’s accelerationist ideologies and then there’s Posadism which on another level, the true “Fifth-World” political ideology if you will. I’ll just post a selected quote from Wikipedia to demonstrate this point. “Posadism is probably best remembered today for its enthusiasm towards nuclear war as a way of destroying capitalism and its attempt to introduce elements of Ufology into Marxist thought. Arguing that only communism can allow the development of interplanetary travel, they concluded that visiting aliens from other planets must live in highly advanced communist societies and are bound to help Earth-based communists with bringing about the world revolution.”Now as for literature pertaining to this topic, I recommend Flying saucers, the process of matter and energy, science, the revolutionary and working-class struggle and the socialist future of mankind, written by the father of Posadist thought, J. Posadas. – Matt

Introduction to Communication Disorders

I read this book so I don’t fail my online class – Matt

RYM Lists about the Calgary Sound

Ok look, I write about post-punk a lot on this here blog, but in my recent listening history nothing has been more destructive to my taste than learning about the Calgary Sound, which I will sum up as bands that play post-punk with twiddly dee noises. This shit has ruined my favorite records, I put on Remain In Light or something and I am only met with disappointment at the lack of twiddly dee guitar riffs in ostrich tuning or some equally galaxy brain level shit. Then I take the needle off the record and just go and listen to Public Strain for the fourth time that day, it’s a sad and crushing cycle.  – Matt


Watch

The Lighthouse

The Lighthouse' Review: A Strange Kind of Horror Film - The Atlantic

Gone are the days of a sexy, mysterious, and immortal Robert Pattinson. In The Lighthouse (2019), Mr Sparkly Vampire Man instead plays a mysterious, filthy, but still sexy lighthouse keeper, stranded, or should I say quarantined, on an island with the ever charming Willem Dafoe. If you happen to watch this hallucination packed nautical thriller (which you should), make sure to take notes on how NOT to act when confined to a small dwelling with people you don’t like (such as your family). – Ayden

Your Language

Nobody likes a potty mouth – Ayden

The End of Evangelion

So End of Evangelion is one of my favorite movies, however, I can only say that because it is the cumulative and cathartic ending to the anime’s 26 previous episodes, this is a level of watching I don’t expect from most so I am going to suggest the opposite. I want you, whoever is reading this, to watch this movie, if you’ve seen the show you’re disqualified. I want you to then tell me you had any idea what the fuck was going on. If you want to be hardcore skip halfway through, turn off all sound, turn off the subtitles and then just bask and vibe in the surrealist horror fever dream in front of you without any context whatsoever. – Matt

Happy New Note (My Second Highest)

The video entitled, Happy New Note (My Second Highest), is one of my favorite videos on the internet, it brings me genuine joy. This is not a meme or a joke, this video truly brightens my day whenever I see it and I want you to share that joy 🙂 – Matt


Follow

Ordinary People Memes (@ordinarypeoplememes on Instagram)

In these trying times, where everything seems out of the ordinary, we all need a little more ordinary in our lives. Ordinary People Memes can provide you with a healthy dose of ordinary, on an ordinary basis! It’s good stuff. – Ayden

@dril

Jerma985 (https://www.twitch.tv/jerma985)

Whoa, did you know that this guy beat Dark Souls 3 on stream?!!!! – Matt

Holy Crow! He must be a god-tier gamer! -Ayden


In all seriousness, stay safe out there everybody.

<3 Matt & Ayden