Written by Nick Doermann

With no holidays to make corny cash grabs out of and the October horror rush still a few months away, the second half of summer tends to be a barren wasteland in terms of good horror flicks. Nine times out of ten, horror freaks end up begging for scraps like a hungry little Oliver Twist boy. However, this summer, the horror gods blessed us by filling theaters and streaming services alike with some tasty treats for us to dig into, which I'm going to do right now on the first-ever HAUNTED HORROR HOUR BLOG (based loosely on the talk show of the same name). 

The first item on the docket is Longlegs (2024), an original movie by the not-too-well-known Osborne Perkins released in early July, but seen by me in early August. Prior to release, cryptic, blair-witch-esque marketing for this movie started flooding spaces, followed by commercials blaring the familiar marketing phrase of “Longlegs: the scariest movie of 2024!” Naturally, I had high hopes for a movie with such confident marketing (which possibly speaks strongly to my own impressionability), and for the most part, the hopes were met. 

Unlike the ARG-like website and initial teasers, the plot of the movie itself was nothing groundbreaking. At its core, Longlegs is a freaky cop flick with supernatural elements straight out of a Stephen King novel and a protagonist that is somehow tied to it all. However, this simple premise helps this movie greatly, serving as a steadfast foundation for the excellent direction and cinematography from Perkins. Along with Nicholas Cage's terrifying portrayal of Longlegs, the simple story and competent direction make this movie I would recommend to horror fans everywhere. The whole movie has to do with a mystery, so obviously I'm not gonna get much further into the plot. Nonetheless, if you're a fan of detective thrillers with some fun supernatural elements in them, Longlegs is for you. If you go in expecting “the scariest movie of 2024” (what a crock) then you'll likely be disappointed, but if you go in expecting “the most uniquely eerie cop flick made in a while” then I think you'll leave the movie theater happy and covered with greasy sticky popcorn on your hands and legs.

Looking forward, there's a project soon to grace our silver screens that has myself and the Alien franchise's countless other fans incredibly excited, the long-awaited Alien: Romulus. The Alien movies started in 1979 with Alien, directed by Ridley Scott. This first movie pits the crew of a spaceship against a viscerally terrifying monster, a crew fully ignorant to the horrific biology that makes the violent beast tick. I have yet to experience any movie that makes me feel the same way the first Alien made me feel. The knowledge that something stealthy is lurking in your vessel combined with the increasing realization of how painfully it is going to rip you apart just gets my blood pumping in a way that still gets me very welcomed nightmares decades after watching it for the first time. Unfortunately for longtime fans of the Xenomorph and his dastardly antics, the franchise fails to get this feeling right again. Many enjoy these movies quite a lot, with Aliens and Prometheus getting consistent praise, but they just don't deliver on that distinct helplessness that the first movie delivers for you to feast upon.

It's looking like the drought may finally be ending, however, with the arrival of Alien: Romulus. At the time of writing this stupid blog post I have yet to see this movie since it has not been released, but EVERYTHING about it is looking as promising as possible in terms of getting that same freaky feeling again. First off, the trailer is actually trying to create an ambient terror with droning music and little use of the xenomorph's appearance. This tells me that at the very least the creators are trying to make another scary Alien movie, something that I genuinely do not think has been tried in earnest since the original. The kicker for me is that the film's director, Fede Alvarez, previously directed the 2013 Evil Dead remake (a personal favorite of mine) and Don't Breathe, two movies that felt claustrophobic in an excellent way. That's right, folks! Believe it or not, you can gauge expectations by looking at someone's previous work! Who would have thunk of that? Anyways, I hope I'm right about the Xenomorph's next romp around the spaceship, because if I am, this blog will probably go viral.

I might go see Cuckoo too and write about that in the next one. I've got no clue what that thing is about, though. That is probably a good thing.

Feel free to email [email protected] for any suggestions for the blog or for the radio show!